Today was my first day of work. But i was late, it started to rain, i got wet, my left ankle hurt, i was distracted and i smelt like a wet cat. So it was a bad first day. But the people were ok. I was scared shit but it turned out ok. By the end, my back was aching, my throat was dry and i was in no mood to converse anymore to anyone.

It wasn't an act. It was a moment of weakness and i shouldn't have told anyone. Now it has become a big deal. I should have just kept my mouth shut. Stupid me.

If you look down on me cos i lack something, it doesn't make you any better. And it's not your place to say, but you did anyway. Oh well.

I guess i found out why. I didn't know if i wanted to know in the first place. But i did. Oh well.

I didn't know it was a pre-requiste. I thought i could change and that someone would help me with it. But i guess i don't fit in the criteria. I was just not there.

But interestingly, I feel the sense of freedom emerging from within. I'm breaking out of all these sad emo songs and going back to the good ol' punk rock. I feel lost, distant and heading nowhere- but at least i'm not heading in the wrong direction. I guess this is a wasabi thing, not a chili padi situation.

Last night- that had to be a joke, right? Right?

Once again, my theory has been proven right. So why do i even bother anymore? Stupid me.

Oh well. What am i to do with all these silence?