i feel like a total loser. but that's not why i'm here.

i'm here to tell u that people are superficial. they're everywhere and it disgust me.

it's a abt this man who's got no home and probably no family. he sleeps most of the time at my work place. ( i shall not name names. dont want to get sued now, do i?) he's been around way before i was. he never disturbs us or anyone else, for that matter and we never bothered him unless we have a lot of customers.

it's also abt a lady who frquents our place too. we dont know her name. we have yet to give her a nickname. she probably doesnt have any home too. she, like the man aforementioned, never physically bother anyone. she'll just stare straight ahead.

i must admit, both of them rarely get showers. but i'm not saying that they stink. u can tell by their clothes that they are not so well off like the rest of us brats are.

i swear they've never bothered anyone. but yet some bitch made a complaint abt them. and the reason why? cos they're not pleasing to her eyes. she even implied that they make the place less safe.

what the fuck? yes, u've read me right. these harmless, homeless people are being looked down by this brat. she even suggested that something should be done abt this. i'd tell her to fuck off.

i'm not encouraging people to be in their position. they're not asking for our sympathy. what they need is our understanding.

if the authorities are really gonna get rid of them, i'll be the first to protest. damn right. even if i'd get fired. it'll just prove how heartless people are.

and by the way, i hope that bitch's children turns out like the two people. retribution can be a bitch too, u know.

it's been a long time.
so long.
i try not to think abt how long.
cos i dont want to make it not long.
well, i dont really know how long.
cos of my not-so-long term memory.

i like it long.
i cant believe i can stay away for a long time.
although i'm kinda itching to not make it long.
but no.
i have control over myself.
i can do it.

i kinda feel like an addict.
well, he is addictive.
but no.
never again.
i'll just be putting two shots to the back of my head.

so long, it shall be.

It wasnt an act of rash stupidity.
it was well thought out.
i've been waiting for that moment for a long time.
i was just surprised at my choice.
it just came naturally.

i know now that u now.
but dont alienate me just cos u think wat i did was wrong.
dont treat me like i'm abt to break either.
everything abt me is still the same.
except that i'll try to keep my promise to u.

thank u for not giving up on me.
i know now that i was being stupid.
i just wish u'd understand a bit more.
but thank u for sticking up with me and saving my ass.
u could have just left me all alone to die.
but u didnt and i'm left to wonder why.

i'm sorry i messed up ur head.
it wasnt just abt u.
u shouldnt have felt the way u did.
i never intended to hurt u too.
just myself.

i'm just glad i have u as my voice of reason.

What the hell is wrong with me? Well, i'll tell u what.

I'm sick and tired of this life. There's nothing to live for anymore. I blame u and everyone else. I dont want to feel angry, betrayed or hurt anymore.

I know u dont care so stop acting like u do. I've been a nuisance to u all these time and i'm gonna end it now. It's not a stupid thing. This is what u've always wanted. So why are u so bent on stopping me?

Hate me all u want for the rest of ur life cos it won't matter to me once i'm gone.

I'm not a cynic.

But how many times have i told u people that love doesn't exist? It's just a lie that some bored people came up with a long time ago. But did u ever listen?

Nooo.

And now look at what "love" did to u. U want to die because of it. Now tell me that's not stupid.

Sorry to burst ur bubble people but unfortunately love is a lie. That's right. U've been brainwashed by ur own brians all these time. And i'm the only one who realises it. If anyone ever told u that they love u, dont believe a single word. Cos they're only saying that to get something from u. They just want to use u.

You say ur parents love u? Are u so sure? Dont u think they have to say that just cos ur their kid? And u love ur parents? Isnt it just because they happen to be ur parents? See, it doesnt exist.

I think it's crap when people say that love-making happens when people are in love. It happens cos ur horny. Not cos ur in love with that person.

Think, people think. Put aside ur stupid lovey-dovey feelings and use ur lovely brains. Think for once and i'm sure u'd agree with me that love just doesnt exist in this damn world. It's just a figment of ur imagination.