it's been a long time since i felt like giving up on life. he made me feel like that today. and they way he touched me scared me. like he was going to hit me. i dont ever want him to touch me anymore. i cringed at his touch. how can someone i love so much make me feel this way? feel so unwanted. he was all that i had. and he wanted me to go away during this period of time when i need someone real bad esp since it's going to be raya soon. he wanted me gone.so i'll go.

i'll go away. for good. this time. i've made up my mind. i dont wanna feel betrayed anymore. i dont wanna feel unwanted anymore.

if God doesnt want to end things for me, then i'll take it in my own hands.