u know, sometimes having a reminder or two helps us all to appreciate what we have in life..lately i find that i've been dissatisfied with hima and all of his stubborness..talked to him and all but things were just the same way..

then i stumbled upon a cousin of his who lost her bf..i think he died but i'm not sure how..and that brought tears to my eyes..cos u couldnt tell she was feeling sad at all..i met her a few times and always she'd be smiling..go to her fb and in all the pictures she'd be smiling..who knew she'd lost someone so dear to her..and to think that she can live on after that and even go out and have fun with her gfs and smile, that is like wow..

then i tried to put myself in her shoes..i think i'd be a wreck..i'd forget how to smile, i'd forget how to live and be human if i'd lost what she did..

then i got reminded again, that life is fragile..and that i could lose anyone i love anytime or they could lose me too..then i rmbr that i should be thankful that i have him, for now, even though he's as imperfect as me, because i'd never know when that day will come when either one of us is not here anymore..

it's very upsetting when faced with reality.i'm getting stressed out abt the whole affair. and i'm not the kind who gets stressed out easily. i wish i was richer. i cant even think up of any wishful thinking.everytime i try to imagine how easy it would be if i were rich, my mind automatically blocks that out.

so there goes my wishful thinking. or daydreaming abt having things the easy way.

and the fact that someday, sooner or later, i'd have to go somewhere else and stay, is weighing down on me.i feel like walking on eggshells all day long, everyday.

and he isnt helping things any further.he's so stubborn sometimes, i forget which one of us is more stubborn.

i guess i'm tired. of arguing, of having doubts and worrying abt money (or the lack of). i just wish that things were simpler.